mishcake.com 

This is my more personal site and etc, but i’ve decided to put all my blogs together so I can focus on one Hope to see you all there.

yours truly

I have always believed that we have an ultimate purpose in living, be it a religious one, but I know other people live for other things. I’ve gone around and asked some friends what do they live for. Some of their answers were,

1. I live for my friends
2. I live for money and success
3. I live for myself
4. I live for the sake of living

I’m not saying that planning for our future is bad, but it is indeed good because it sets a goal in your life, somewhere to focus. I never understood people who lived life meaninglessly, but I respect their choice. It’s like the same saying we hear, “Live life too the fullest.” But what does that mean? How do we know we’ve lived life to the full.

After high school a lot of my friends went in different directions. Some just partied hard once they reached the legal age of 18. Others went to pursue their dream careers realizing it actually takes a lot of hard work. Some will fall and some will rise. I admire the people who no matter how tough it is keep going on.

Personally I’ve always wanted to be a successful person who could get into job which I would enjoy. As a Christian I do aim to be more like Christ. That is living a righteous life, but that’s not easy either. Life is never meant to be easy, it’s the truth. We can look at others and say, “Hey your life is great compared to mine!” but how can we say that when we don’t know what’s going on inside them. I’ve had one friend who was a successful entertainer always surrounded by friends, but they suffer from depression.  Currently I am content with what I have as a university student.

Another concept people are afraid to deal with is death. To me death on a physical level isn’t all that frightening knowing that with faith I am spiritually alive. When I was younger though I contemplated suicide because of the things I was going through, causing me depression. I thank God that I was stopped before I could hurt myself. Suicide is a big issue amongst young teens, that sometimes it’s almost becoming an “in” thing to do. Don’t forget though it can still affect adults and children. I am pro-life, and am against suicide. In my opinion I believe it is one of the most selfish acts a person can do. I wonder if they ever considered the people they would hurt and the people they could affect negatively, they probably do. There is so much help out there, but sometimes they don’t even take the initiative to help!

How to pick out depression or thoughts of suicide? Keep a close watch on your friends. You’re there for each other, and if someone seems to be acting out of character TALK TO THEM. If it’s something they can’t talk about, just be there for them and wait till they can open up to you, remind them you’re there. The best support people can get is from the people around them.

Depression is a serious issue, and not always can we catch it. As support people we can learn to listen to and lookout for them. Individually those who suffer depression it takes guts to bring down pride and search for help. Personally how I overcame depression was through people who believed in me, and setting a new goal in my life. Not to just live to help myself, but to live and help others. Living is meant to be pro-active.

I always saw that Valentine’s shouldn’t just happen on one day, in fact you should show love and appreciation to somebody everyday. Still we go out searching for the perfect gift and the right words to say. So I shall give my tip to those who are seeking such “advice.”

What should you say and do on Valentine’s day? I’d make it this simple yet really meaningful…even I’m surprising myself because if someone did this to me I’d be head over heels. I will give a number of ideas though.

1. Hold his/her hand and tell them you love them. That’s what they want to hear.

2. Do something romantic:

Tell him/her to close her eyes. Whisper into their ear that you love them and your honest feelings towards them (speak your heart). Kiss them while they’re eyes are still closed!

3. The traditional bunch of roses? Give them one. Sometimes simple means a lot.

4. Take them back to the place where you first met, or a place that hold a lot of memories to you both.

5. (Try) writing a poem which is about what you think about them; be honest about it!

So there are a few ideas to making your Valentine feel special. Good luck to you all and have a great Valentine’s day.

God Bless & Peace Out

The term “Soulmate” may refer to a relationship where both parties feel like, “They’ve known each other all their lives.” There is a Greek story that humans were originally with four arms, four legs, and two faces. Zeus, god of the other gods was afraid that their power might be great so he struck them and split them all in half. So the story goes that humans spend their lives looking for their other half (this theory was discussed in Plato’s Symposium). I believe the term “Soulmate” can refer to both a close friendship or a romantic relationship, it has many meanings. I see it as a bond between two souls; something that goes beyond a physical/material connection. It’s like looking at somebody and then feeling that, “I know you.” Some people believe in re-incarnation and that their souls must’ve been intertwined since some past life.

“Kindred Spirits” is a hard term to define. There is no real description for it; just like “Soulmate,” it has many meanings. The most common meaning for it is to havea bond with someone whom you share the same interests, personality, character, etc. Each can be “themselves” around one another and open up fully. The probable difference between “soulmate” and “kindred spirit” is that as we go through life we do come across many people who resemble our own nature. Another description of a “kindred spirit” is to find a rare bond with a friend; that “hard-to-find rare friendship.” These friends are usually referred to as the constantly-spoken of, “best-friend.” Platonic friendship sometimes grows from these, and things can be very complicated. Like most say, your worst enemy is the person who knows you best. They know how to hurt you because they know your strength and your weaknesses. How it sometimes mixes with the “soulmate” term is because both are somewhat seen on a spiritual level.

There is no promise in the Bible for a soulmate. There is nothing about a “match made in heaven.” In fact God has other plans and ideas for peoples’ lives, not to just look for love. There is though, in the Bible, examples of great friendships. These friendships are influenced by God, and their bond is bound by their faith.

“…the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” (1 Sam. 18:1, NKJV)

Close friends make commitments to one another. To be honest these can’t always be fulfilled. Why? Well hey we’re human and susceptible to making mistakes. There are though friendship which are seen through to the end. Just as Jonathan made a covenant with David (1 Sam. 18:3), as did Ruth make a commitment to her mother-in-law Naomi:

“Entreat me not to leave you,
Or to turn back from following after you;
For wherever you lodge, I will lodge;
Your people shall be my people,
And your God, my God.
Where you die, I will die,
And there will I be buried.
The LORD do so to me, and more also,
If anything but death parts you and me.”(Ruth 1:16-17, NKJV)

I believe the idea of the ‘Romantic Friendship’ has died because of theorists and changes in ideals. Around the 18th Century it wasn’t surprising to see two women in an intense friendship. They would make serious life promises, loyalty, exchange of words of love, tender touches, everything romantic under the sun besides sex. But as the introduction of the word “homosexuality” came out, people began to see this sort of friendship in another light. By the 19th century it was rare to see such friendships and by the 20th century it was considered ‘perverted.’ The intimacy shared within the ‘Romantic Friendship’ disappeared and seemed to only belong to heterosexual couples; that it was only allowed for them.

I would like to say that there are many definitions of a ‘Romantic Friendship’ between women. To me it is a bond between two people which doesn’t require ‘sexual intimacy.’ It is hard for me to say now that I love someone who is the same sex as me. Love has become a term so loosely used that it has lost its true meaning. People throw it around carelessly and somehow it saddens me. I come from a background of strong traditions, to say I love another woman would shame my family, but it isn’t ‘that’ sort of love. It is a love where I can say what I feel from my heart, without lust and envy. I am glad though now that my family can understand my love for all my close friends.

I went on a one month trip last year. I realised how ignorant some people can be. To see two women walking down the street holding hands the instant word that jumps to their lips is, “lesbians.” Homosexuality has never bothered me, since I believe love is a choice between two people no matter who or what they are.

Even in the Bible friendship bonds were very strong; loyalty unending. For example, David and his best friend Jonathan, Ruth and Naomi.

True friendship is the bond of two souls. It may be like marriage, but isn’t. You can be married and love a friend with all your heart as well. Although today the term,’Romantic Friendship’ isn’t as prominent I would like to say some friendship bonds are known as, ‘Kindred Spirits.’

I will write about this next time, “Soul Mates & Kindred Spirits: The Differences?” As for now,

God Bless & Peace Out

–

Research & Definitions: Wikipedia| CelebrateFriendship.org|GLBTQ.com|

Yes I’m talking jealousy here! But a different kind. You spend weeks on end with your best friend, you seem to be inseparable, but then comes the “man of her dreams.” She disappears! What do you do? Do you just sit back and mope about the situation, feeling degraded, neglected, unloved? Well maybe you’ll feel like that for a short while. Hey the same goes with guys, it’s just that they never voice it out, so I’m talking to both guys and gals.

Knowing their head is stuck in the relationship and they’re floating on cloud nine:

1. Somehow they disappear from your life

2. The only time you hear from them is when they need something from you

3. If you ever get time to spend with them all they do is talk about their new love

4. When they ask for advice, they really don’t listen to you

5. They’re just not the same anymore!

So what exactly are you meant to do? Well if you’re a real friend you appreciate their new found joy, but if this new interest is taking them away from you (and the rest of their social life), well you’ve gotta do something. It hurts you! Friends aren’t meant to hurt you. So speak up. Have a word with him/her. The best they can do is at least take a day off from the relationship to spend time with you and the rest of their friends. If they can’t do that just move on and leave them be. Just be there for them when they need you cos that’s real friendship.

I got a lot more to talk about on this subject, but I must disappear to have my lunch.

god bless & peace out

I believe that I am on a new page of my life. My close friend, I love her a lot, but sometimes I find it hard to approach her now. Why? Because I feel like I’ve changed and so has she. She’s a year older than me. What I feel is that she’s on a different page to me now. We used to stand on the same page and sometimes we seemed inseparable but as time went on we both changed.

For a while we can stand on the same page with a group of friends. People will always change, and when you read a story you never read one page over and over, we go onto the next page. What can we do about it? We have to keep moving on, but we must not forget the people who have changed our lives. Some people do continue standing on the same page as you, sometimes they drop away to follow their own paths. Ultimately the story of our lives belong to us. We share pages with other people’s stories.

Just because you’re on a new page though, doesn’t mean the end of friendship. You can still enjoy their company. That time spent with them is when you share a page in your life story together, you’re a part of their story and they, yours.

There is nothing to be afraid of with change. If it’s change that goes the wrong way, help guide each other the right way. It brings lives together. Sometimes we don’t even notice how subtle friendships rift apart. Either way, change doesn’t change how much I love my friend. I will gladly share some of my pages with her.

Sending a friend a few sweet words is enough to brighten their day, so do it for someone today

God Bless & Peace Out

Let’s start from the beginning shall we? Men were considered to be the only people who thought about sex as much as women did. The truth is, no matter what gender we are, we all need sex. Sexual addiction isn’t based upon the fact that someone has a high libido or sex drive, to me, I believe it goes to a more mental and emotional level. It also just doesn’t happen to men, it happens to women too. What I’m going to type about is from my own experience, what i’ve read and what I believe, but I want to try and address not just women, but men too.

Sex is like a universal language. The values of sex though differ based on culture. But what can I really say? Culture is starting to turn ‘universal’ too. The act of sex has turned so casual that it’s like driving you car. Sex seems to be the new way of ‘breaking the ice,’ sex first, words later. But there are people who still hold onto traditions of sex before marriage. If you’re not the traditional type, well I just hope you’re playing it safely.

So back to the topic on the addiction to sex. A lot of sex addicts are dangerous people, ie. rapists, molesters, etc. but these are the extreme cases. First of all though, let’s look at what may cause someone to be addicted to sex. I personally believe it’s based upon mentality and emotions. Sex is the ultimate act of intimacy between two people. The “real” definition of the addiction though isn’t solid. The addiction though starts off really small. It then manifests itself as an over-desired want. On an emotional level I think that the need of sex is to have a connection with someone; too feel the biggest intimacy you can recieve. Everyone craves intimacy with another, but some people take it too far.

A lot of sex from addicts is compulsive. When they want sex, they want sex. What they want may not only be the intimacy though. It could be the reward, which is an orgasm. This releases a whole tonne of natural chemicals in the body and it overwhelms them with an awesome feeling (hard to describe, but you’re just gonna have to figure that out yourself if you don’t know what I mean ). But just like an addiction to food, drugs, gambling, they want more, and as things become repetitive they have to increase the amount. This is where it gets dangerous. Peoples lives have fallen apart because they fail to recognise their problem and fail to help themselves before it’s too late.

Now let’s look at Britney Spears. I cannot say I personally know her, well because I don’t. I believe she is an amazing person, but somehow it’s painful to watch her life spiral downwards. From her recent action though I believe she may be heading towards a sexual addiction. I could be wrong though! I just could be wrong. What I know though is that she is looking for intimacy. She has been hurt so much she doesn’t trust her heart to love anyone anymore. Okay maybe i’m thinking too far ahead thinking I know how she feels, but this is my opinion. When your heart has been broken so many times you just find it hard to trust anyone, but what you realise is that you miss the intimacy of another being. With her recent actions I believe what she needs right now is the support of real friends. I have though, seen her ‘home video’ reality tv show on channel ‘V’ where you see her whole tour with her now ex-hubby Kevin Federline. One thing I noticed she said a lot about their relationship is, “…the sex is good.” Ultimately though, I believe she just needs to find someone who will love her properly.

Back to the addiction. Some people do mistake a high sex drive to and addiction. Addiction is a more serious matter. If you have a high sex drive, there are ways to work around it and to control it. In all honesty I could tell you all that I have a high sex drive, but I am able to control it through will power and other things. There is though, available services to help people through it. I myself cannot tell you how to solve a real addiction to sex. If you do believe you have a sexual addiction I urge you to find someone proffesional to help you. Do not keep it to yourself until your life falls aparts. If you care about people around you I pray that you recognise your problem early and look for help.

What helps with the need for ‘that’ intamcy? Well I can’t exactly answer that. You either find yourself a good and healthy relationship. Or if you’re not as monogomous as me, find yourself a ‘sexual partner(s).’ BUT remember, like all pleasure in life, things must be all in moderation, and safely!

I believe there are still a lot of questions to be answered. I don’t know everything, and what I just discussed is only scratching the surface. I say, look for a proffesional or someone with much more experience than me. For now I wish you all a great week.

God Bless & Peace Out

Helpful links:

What Is Sexual Addiction? – Psych Central

Sexual Addicton – Wikipedia

Counselling for Sexual Addiction – www.sexualcontrol.com

SexHelp.com – Sex Addiction Q & A with Dr. Carnes

So why exactly do we celebrate Velentine’s day? Just to get chocolate and have people tell you how much they love you? Anywho I woke up with someone trying to open my bed room door (which I think it was my brother). Nope, no, nada, no special Valentine’s breakfast. It’s just another normal day! BUT sometimes people don’t really understand what Valentine’s day is about so i’m here (as i once was, but got lazy) to do some boring research. Why? BECAUSE I get bored and I find pleasure in researching random things. For example how cat’s pee can glow under UV lights the values behind Scientology and the scriptures of the Gnostics.

Valentine’s Day falls on February 14, and is the traditional day on which lovers in certain cultures let each other know about their love, commonly by sending Valentine’s cards, which are often anonymous. The history of Valentine’s day can be traced back to an obscure Catholic Church feast day, said to be in honor of Saint Valentine. The day’s associations with romantic love arrived after the High Middle Ages, during which the concept of romantic love was formulated.

Ah, the sweet taste of romance in the air, well not really. Is Valentine’s day really just an excuse for us to splurge money all over a loved one? No, no, I don’t think so. Still, as heard from a friend, Valentine’s day shouldn’t just be on one day. Why should you ‘show’ your love and affection only on one day? Why not everyday, isn’t that what love really is? Heehee, I can’t believe I’m typing all this out. But reading the description above, ‘which are often anonymous.’  Are they really anonymous anymore? Valentine’s day used to be fun. Getting cards signed by ‘unknowns’ made it exciting, trying to figure out who on earth is this ‘secret-admirer.’

So despite my ‘lonliness’ on V-day i’m as happy as a little bird in a tree (about to be shot down by a hunter, joking). Why? I’m glad i’ve been helping friends deal with their gift woes in the past few weeks. I find it hilarious, but it’s great to help friends. I’ve seen so many different choices of presents for loved ones, and I found certain ones highly amusing. For example, a duck puppet which quacks out ‘Old MacDonald Had A Farm.’ Eitherway, once the decision have been made I wish them the best of luck and hope they have a great day.

But now for me to all my friends and family, I wish you all a Happy Valentine’s Day, but not only today, everyday

Valentine’s day, a day where you express appreciation and affection to all those who are close to you, mmm that’s what I think it is, but you can show that everyday HEEHEE, but I have to do this, to all those who really really don’t like Valentine’s day just because they’re lonely on this day, here is a playlist of Anti-Valentine songs, Tainted Love.

God Bless & Peace Out

So for the readers who still view my blog, I want to thank you all (don’t forget to drop me a comment or two! It let’s me know that there are eyes reading what I write). In the weeks to come i’ll be posting short ‘chapters’ on my current personal project. Right now i’m in the midst of handling school work and my own little research on ‘Romantic Friendships.’ This sudden topic caught my interest so I decided to find and read information about it. The particular type of ‘close friendship’ i’m looking at though is the female x female friendships. I find it a little intriguing since women are a centre of emotions. From some of the things i’ve read, friendship between two women were really different now compared to what they used to be before the 19th century. So keep a heads up on my posts on this topic for the next few weeks.

Just to confirm though, I am not a proffesional researcher in this area. I have no real experince in women’s studies or sociology. I’m merely speaking from a view point of my own, discussing only what I know from research and my own experiences. I’m interested in just typing out what I think about this subject. Nobody has to agree or disagree with me, I am merely discussing something that interests me.

One more week and i’m on break! I’ll be spending Christmas rushing about preparing the our church’s Christmas events. In the following month in January (2007) i’ll be disappearing on a summer holiday in Malaysia visiting family and friends, with a week’s visit to Singapore.

No ‘article post’ today, just an everyday post

God Bless & Peace Out